Thoughts On Losing Chicko and Getting Rocco…

#RoccoTheGreat is my vitamin and when I say vitamin, someone or something that boosts my energy when I feel not-so 100%. Before Rocco (Shitzu X Chihuahua), there was Chicko (Mini Bull Terrier).

Losing Chicko…

Chicko left this world when I was going away for a short vacation on the first week of February 2014. No one expected it. The night before I was going to Batangas, I phoned my friend and requested they look after Chicko while I’m away. They took Chicko and his things that same night and I was so thankful for it because I know they are not new to taking care of dogs and that my dog will be in a safe place. I didn’t have any clue that the next morning I will lose him.

I was riding a bangka on the way to Caticlan Jetty port when I heard of the bad news over the phone. Partly speechless of disbelief, I requested my friend to send me a picture of my pet’s condition and where it happened. He then sends me 2 pictures via Facebook and after looking at it, my heart sank deep and I immediately cried on the spot. My pet, my poor Chicko, I felt so sorry for leaving him. I can’t believe that I lost him so quickly. I, then, thought of going back to Boracay to personally witness my pet’s condition. Incidentally, I was informed that 2GO’s ship (the one I’m riding to go to Batangas port) was going to be 3 hours late for departure so I immediately went back to Boracay to see what had happened to Chicko.

When I got there and saw Chicko, I realized that he’s gone for good. My friends told me they were really sorry. I felt they were sincere. No one wanted for it to happen. I mean, my friends were dog lovers and they adored Chicko, too. My guy friend was crying with me while my girl friend was consoling me. I was told that Chicko had somehow slipped on the 2^nd floor while he was tied on his leash and died of suffocation. When I saw Chicko lying on the floor, breathless and eyes closed, my heart sank deeper. I remember touching him and at that moment I burst into tears because I can’t contain myself anymore. I continued to cry as I stroke his chest and body thinking it will be the last any minute now, thinking that once again I have to let go of someone I love and how it will be to cope after losing them. We buried him and prayed for him under a tree next to the fire station. Just in front of a compound which later became my home for next few months in Boracay. “At least, he died in paradise (Boracay)” said Myco, co-owner of Chicko, who was also feeling sorry and sad when he heard about the news.

– This is one of the photos sent to me on Facebook. Looking at it now, I still feel sad and sorry at the same time. I was wounded when I lost him. No words can describe how much I felt after losing Chicko. I still remember that feeling when I look back at that time when I saw him one last time. It does bring me tears but at the same time I am happy that he’s in a better place now with the Lord.

Getting Rocco…

When I got back to Boracay after Chicko died and spending about a week in Batangas, I felt lonely because I no longer have a pet to play with when I am stressed with work and or when I feel alone in my hot-pot of a room.  The constant thought of Chicko did not do me any good because i felt even lonelier.

I went through a lot of letting go moments in my life that I can say I can let go easily and move on. But it doesn’t mean I don’t treasure the moments I had with them. I just have this thinking that “If I can eventually move on, why not now?” I mean, I refuse to be stuck in a situation that doesn’t do me good. I aim to better myself. Why would I waste time sulking in sadness when I can just cherish the good ones and start from there? It doesn’t necessarily mean I care any less, but I choose to take the good moments with me and just accept the bad ones as part of the past, so I can be a happier and better version of myself. I’m not being selfish but I don’t want others to feel pity for me because of my loss especially when my tattoo reminds me “Eligo Esse felicem” whenever I look in the mirror.

My friends offered to give me a new pet as a replacement for Chicko (He’s not replaceable but I have a new room in my heart for a new pet – I’ve always been a dog lover even when I was still a child). At first I was hesitant because I just lost Chicko a few weeks I was told that they have Two (2) 1-month old ShiChi puppies (1 male and 1 female) that I can look at and pick from when they are ready. I said to myself, I am getting a female pet because I never had a female pup before but just to make sure, I want to see them personally so, one afternoon, I visited my friend’s place and saw these cute puppies.

When they woke up, you can immediately see the difference between the faces of these ShiChi  pups. Rocco appealed to me more because of his cute face and he was pretty active compared to Basha. The cage that they’re in was Chicko’s cage. You will notice the misaligned bars because he had a habit of biting it when I put him on his cage before I leave for work.

After about a month of waiting for them to get ready for separation, I visited them again. They got bigger and more active. I was told that they are a sweet and active couple who would most of the time play together and fight for a stuff toy. They were so cute. I decided to get Rocco then. I took him with me back home. He had separation anxiety back then, refusing to be alone in the room even when I was just taking a shower. I would hear him barking and scratching the bathroom door as if he’s begging to get in. I would then just leave the door slightly open so he can take a peek back and forth because he was getting wet when I am taking a shower.

I can’t help but smile and be happy and be thankful for having Rocco in my life. The feeling is similar to having a new baby to call my own (although I haven’t experienced it yet first hand so forgive me if I offend any mothers out there – this is just how I describe how overjoyed I am when I had him. Something that i hope I would feel or surpass the feeling of when the time comes that I become a mother in the future – I wished for it when I was just 21 and I am now 29 and I still don’t have kids so imagine that). He was indeed sweet, loving and loyal. He kept following me around even I don’t have him on a leash. The feeling of security and happiness that I won’t be alone anymore was reassuring.